Five Things Not to do on a First Date - For Men by Laura
1. Ask how come she doesn’t have a boyfriend
I hate this question, simply because I’ve not yet thought of an answer that doesn’t sound defensive (“I just haven’t met the right person”), arrogant (“I’m fussy”) or insecure (“I don’t know - why don’t I have a boyfriend?!). I know it’s intended as a compliment, but rather than ask the question, tell her you can’t believe your luck she’s single.
2. Neg her
If you’ve read any "Pickup Artist" articles, or been ridiculous enough to buy a manual or attend a seminar, you’ve heard of "negging". Basically a dig disguised as a compliment - "Fantastic figure! Good for you for not conforming" or "Nice top! I’ve noticed loads of girls wearing it" - designed to make her feel insecure and, therefore, you more desirable. Actually, it makes you sound like a douche.
3. Wolf down your dinner
I have a friend who can’t eat in front of men she fancies (whenever she loses weight, I know she has a work crush). That’s extreme, but while I enjoy a romantic dinner, I do start to feel uncomfortable if he finishes first then watches me eat. But I never leave food on my plate. Sense her pace, and copy it.
4. Turn up with no plan
You might think you’re being laid back and flexible by saying ‘I don’t mind - you choose’ when your date asks where you’re off to, but that creates a much worse impression than if you were to suggest a venue that’s not her cup of tea. Do your research and suggest somewhere. Of course, if she mentions somewhere she likes or has always wanted to go to - be flexible.
5. Let her go Dutch
In the words of Destiny’s Child, "The shoes on my feet, I've bought it; the clothes I'm wearing, I've bought it; the rock I'm rockin', I've bought it; 'cause I depend on me." That all said, if you expect me to buy my own dinner on our first date, I’ll wonder if you’re mean. Or if you date too often to keep footing the bill. Tell her you’ve got this, and if she offers - which she should - gently insist.
Five Things Not to do on a First Date - For Women by Jimmy
1. Impart too much information
I’d known one girl less than an hour when she revealed over a gin and tonic that she was on anti-depressants. I was full of sympathy – but it’s like telling someone before they get in a car they’re going to crash. They’re gonna get the train instead. Save any revelations until he likes you enough not to care.
2. Lie beforehand
This is applicable for making dates online, where there’s nothing worse than turning up to a surprise. Upload at least one realistic photo and make sure your profile is accurate. I once tried to brush off that I’d added an extra inch to my height by claiming 5’7 was actually average for a man, if you included China and Japan.
3. Allude to your ex
Don’t say that you came out of a relationship a while back and now you’re ready to move on – it’ll be obvious you’re not. Slagging off your ex is also a no-no. A bloke will probably start wondering about your ex’s side to the story.
4. Try and change his order
One of several dating stories that made it into The Best Thing That Never Happened To Me came from a friend who went on a date with a vegetarian who tried to stop him ordering a steak, and told – TOLD – him to go for the vegetable lasagne instead. When the waiter came my friend chivalrously changed his order – to a mixed grill.
5. Take a date selfie
No matter how well the first date has gone, don’t do what a girl once tried with me and ask for a photo of you together for Facebook. Our date hadn’t even gone that well, and now I was imagining her sitting cross legged on her bedroom floor, Pritt Stick and scissors in hand, making a collage of us for her wall.