Faber is to publish a "wickedly entertaining" collection of restaurant critic Jay Rayner's worst dining experiences, titled Wasted Calories and Ruined Nights: A Journey Deeper into Dining Hell.
"From Pret a Manger to the most stupidly spendy restaurants, Jay Rayner suffers abysmal meals so you don’t have to", said the publisher. "Wasted Calories and Ruined Nights includes such viral hits as his wipe-the-blood-off-the-walls, take-no-prisoners review of Le Cinq (viewed 2.2 million times), where an amuse-bouche causes his lips to purse 'like a cat’s arse that’s brushed against nettles', and Farm Girl Café, where one can sample a globe artichoke 'boiled until it is as soft and rank as Grandma’s cabbage, only with none of the glamour'."
The publisher added: "This uproarious dining tour of London, Paris and beyond will prove an invaluable guide for anyone wanting to avoid those restaurants serving the worst in hummus ('nasty, bland, tile grouting'), dressing ('it tastes of sugar, vinegar and low self-esteem'), ‘Lebanese dip’ ('an insult to the whole country'), ketchup ('a gummy condiment full of machismo and casual violence') and even deconstructed boeuf bourguignon ('it was also the systematic dismantling of all my culinary hopes and dreams').
Fred Baty, commissioning editor at Guardian Faber, acquired UK and Commonwealth rights to the book from Jonny Geller at Curtis Brown.
Baty said: "Jay's hatchet jobs are invariably his most entertaining, and he is on incomparable form in this collection. We're sure Wasted Calories and Ruined Nights will have readers laughing and wincing in equal measure this Christmas."
Rayner added: "I am delighted that the warm, lovely team at Guardian Faber should have agreed to publish this book full of vitriol, bile and rage. It's a fabulous edition, containing some of the very worst experiences I've ever endured at the table which, as we well know, is what people really enjoy reading about. Think of it as the perfect Christmas present both for the book trade and for readers."
Journalist Jay Rayner has written widely but is best known as the restaurant critic for the Observer. In 2018 he was named Restaurant Writer of the Year in the Fortnum and Mason Food and Drink Awards.
Guardian Faber will publish Wasted Calories and Ruined Nights as a paperback on 4th October 2018.