Orlando's 'Gap Yah' Books

Orlando's 'Gap Yah' Books

1: Wah and Peace

So, this is a raally long book, so I thought it would be a good one to have on a desert island. Even if I didn't read it (and it would literally take ages) I could just carry it around so that I'd have a super authentic battered-looking copy for my bookshelves when I come to uni. Also, I like the title – it's totes just like Wah, but also Peace. A-MAZE.

2: Bruce Parry's Tribe

Just so I know which frogs I can lick in order to get off my peanut in a traditional manner to pretend I'm communing with my ancestors. May also take on his Serious Survival: How to Poo in the Arctic and Other Essential Tips for Explorers as I would probs be an explorer if I was on the desert island and would obviously need to know how to poo in various places.

3: The End of Poverty by Jeffrey Sachs

Not sure what this book is about, but I'm pretty sure it covers some serious isssues, and thahs a foreword from Bono, so that's how you know it's definitely right about what to do about Africah. In general, the celeb-approved solution is always the best one, otherwise they'd be normal people rather than celebs, yah?

4: The Jack Wills Summer Season Catalogue

This is a book, right? Either way, you've got to be stylish on your desert island, and there's no point in being stranded somewhere unless you've got the right outfit to be stranded in. It'll also help to serve as inspirahtion to actually get off the desert island as you will know when the latest line of gilets and ironic cord trousers will be released. You'll be all like, OMG, I am so getting of this island now, thah's a SALE!

5: The Motorcycle Diaries by Ernesto 'Che' Guevara

This is Che Guevara's memoirs from his 'lad on tour' period, when he went ladding about South America being a lash hero. Everyone's already got the T-shirt of his face, so it's important to know that the man behind the T-shirt was a total lash-hero.

6: The Gap Yah Plannah by Orlando

I'd obv. bring my own book! It's literally amazing – I must have read it at least several times...

7: Mr Tickle from the Mr Men series

That Mr Tickle is the king of banter. Who will he tickle next? You literally never know. This one time, everyone was in a classroom, and Mr Tickle was just bouncing around, then he went and tickled some guy. Totes didn't expect that. It's got more twists and turns than a Dan Brown novel, and it's better written.

8: The Lads of the Bible by William James Bettison

This is an oldentimes book, published in 1904 by the Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge. I presume it's all about who was the best lad in the bible. Obviously Jesus turned water into wine, so is a clear forerunner for the title of lash hero, but then there are a few other candidates, so it'll be interesting to find out who is the best biblical lad.

9: Sand: A Journey through Science and the imagination by Michael Welland

One of the best books about sand I have ever read.

10: The Complete Works of Shakespeare by William Shakespeare

Not actually that bothered by this, but people always say they'd bring it. Also, I figure it'll be a pretty big book and I'll need paper on the island for, like, rolling spliffs and bogroll etc, so best to get a raally big book for general usage.


Orlando's Gap Yah Plannah is out today, published by HarperCollins.